I can’t believe today already marks 2 years of being married to each other. Marriage is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Now to you, that may sound terrible and as though our marriage isn’t doing so hot. Instead, I mean marriage is just not easy.
It takes effort to be honest when you are hurt by their words.
It takes strength to really listen to what they are saying when you hurt them, then to apologize can take even more.
It takes courage to love even when you may not feel like it, because dang it, their dishes are filling the sink again.
It can feel like a lot of pressure to be sure you are setting up habits in your relationship that will set up your next generation to be even better.
It can feel scary to fight, but you know it’s important because it’s showing you how to love them better. It’s teaching you how to fight well, so that one day when we have kids they see us fight and they see us love and they aren’t afraid of either.
When you get married, the love is just starting and you begin to learn more and more how to love them even better. You see that the way you feel loved, is not always love in their eyes.
We fell in love through adventure. We connected talking over trips to Europe and South America. We dated through weekend camping trips and adventures each week that quickly taught us a lot about each other. We keep this going, but we also have the day to day in between. These are the days you love simply.
I love when we are on the road. I love the way he wakes up quickly and wants to head out to see if we can catch a glimpse of the sunrise. I love the way he sits and appreciates the way fog moves in or how big the trees are. I love watching him and Kai walk down the trail and explore and I think of when our little ones are following along too. I love his passion to not just go adventure, but to come back and to get others to explore too.
I love watching him when we are home and the way he works hard. I love his passion to play on the weekends and his willingness to have a dance party at any minute. I love the way he pushes me to take a risk. He believes in me far before I begin to think I can do something. He’s protective and charming. He’s vision focused and keeps us grounded, when the world seems to be spinning a little faster.
If you’re getting married soon, my advice is to be clear on expectations, to remember when you fight fight for the two of you and not just yourself. Talk about the tough stuff and don’t take it all too seriously. Dance parties, food, and a walk on the beach can put things into perspective.
I’ve only been married two years, so I am pretty much clueless in this. If you’re married, what’s your biggest tip?