So, we celebrated one year of marriage this year. One year. We are like babies in this marriage jiggy jungle, but I feel like you can learn some things even in this year, so today, we will be sharing those little tid bits my friend. Whether you are married or not, enjoy! Here’s a little wedding day pic. One day we will look back and be like man, we were such babes.
1. Just Say Exactly what you Mean. Beating around the bush is for rookies.
Most of the time (especially us ladies), we don’t just say exactly what we need and then we get beyond pissed when our partner does not give us what we want. News flash. No one can read minds my friends. The more honest I am in saying, “I need you to not tell me how to fix this. I need you to just kiss me and tell me yeah that sucks right now”, the happier everyone is. He is not confused when I am frustrated that he is trying to come up with solutions. I am not hurt that he did not even hear what I was saying, but everyone is on the same page. The more he says, “I am tired right now”, the less I think that he is pissed at me or doesn’t want to see more and the more I realize oh the whole world isn’t about me, the more there is peace and harmony. I feel as though it is easy in marriage to want to come in and keep everything great and magical, but the more we are honest (without being mean to our spouse), the more we get to move on from things and enjoy whatever is going on. In other words, just say what you mean to say people. Skip the insanity.
2. Find the Slack. Pick up the Slack
Sometimes you will have a bad week or your partner will have a bad week. Or maybe they aren’t feeling well, or feel discouraged or any of those others real life feelings. Look for those areas that you can tell they need a little help this week. If you have no clue, do something for them. Have dinner ready. Go get groceries. Grab their favorite ice cream or buy them a new work shirt to add a little spice in their step. Write them a letter. Pick up some flowers. Keep your eyes out for those areas that you could step in to and make just a little bit better for them. Find the slack and pick it up. You leave them feeling loved, and saying I got you, I see you.This is a tip from the pros. (PSA: The pros are not us).
3. Fight with Perspective
This is my favorite. I think that we fight well. We had a conversation a while back about how yelling and screaming when you fight and just dying on a mountain top is so unproductive. When you’re married fighting poorly and causing never ending riffs just causes your own life to be hard as well. Really look to hear people out, to be honest with grace, and to find a solution because the longer these things hang around life is hard for you too. Don’t come into conversations ready to just point out all of the downfalls of your partner. Come ready to find ways to make both of your lives better. Its like that old saying, “Happy wife, happy life”. Although that means something different, its a similar idea. This effects you too! So argue and fight with perspective.
4. If all else fails, dance it out.
If all else fails, make a joke, bust a move, or do something to bring you back down to earth. Yes the joke should probably not be a mean joke directed at your partner. But make fun of yourself, make a goofy face, remember why you fell in love and that really there is a bigger picture then you leaving your dishes out on the table again…
What’s your best marriage tip?…